I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Randomize
