Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
