I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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