You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
