dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
