There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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