accomplished twins. life is a go
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I touched a dick in church today
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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