My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
