end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
