yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
