i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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