whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
