my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize