I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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