you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
