I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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