guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize