So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
