Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
