If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
