She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
