I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Randomize
