I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
