the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
