we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
