i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
