Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.