I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
