Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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