I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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