GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
