whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
