Duck Duck Cougar?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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