She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
