I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
