bring money and cleavage
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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