Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
