u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
