haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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