I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
