pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Can Purell be used as lube?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
