No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
