I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
