Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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