Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize