Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
