I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
