Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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