Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night