Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.