im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
