Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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