you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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