I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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