Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
