I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
