I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
